Just Ask
Jim
Q:
Is Aikido the best martial art?
No, thermonuclear warfare is the best martial art; followed by long range
artillery, armor, guns, knives, and large guys named Bubba. If you want to
defend yourself in the street, buy a tank. Aikido isn't about that, neither
is real Budo.
Q:
Will I get a workout?
Doing the techniques of Aikido requires little force and no muscle. The
movements are calm, centered and flowing. That's half your time on the mat.
The other half is "receiving" the techniques which involves falling down and
getting up again a couple of hundred times a class. You will be both
exhausted and exhilarated.
Q:
Do I have to do knuckle pushups? I'm not in great shape.
You should only have my bad back! Each class begins with stretching and
warm-ups. If during the class you get too tired or feel pain, sit down. We're
adults here; you don't have to raise your hand.
Q:
Is it good for weight control?
No more so than jogging.
Q:
Will it hurt?
Now and then there will be pain, but there won't be damage; Aikido does not
work by causing injuries. However, no one is allowed to hurt someone
maliciously and intentionally on my mat. You are an adult and in charge of
your own body. You can always say no.
Q:
Does it work "on the street"?
Why do you ask? If you have a fantasy of becoming the invincible ultimate
fighting warrior, learning a martial art won't help you achieve it. That's a
fantasy, remember? To become "effective" first you have to drop the nonsense
and meet Mr. Reality. He's the only one you have to defeat. Unfortunately, he
always wins.
Q:
What about self defense?
Aikido isn't a quick course in self defense. It takes a while before you
could use the techniques. In Brooklyn, we'd answer this question with, "Look,
you live in New York City. Sometime in the next five years you'll probably be
mugged. They'll take your money, and maybe they'll hurt you. Or you can study
Aikido. Here we will take your money every month, and guarantee to hurt you
every time you come!"
Q:
Aikido -- isn't it just like dancing?
No, dancing is much harder. A famous ballerina once hurt her foot at the
beginning of the season, but, since she was used to pain, continued dancing.
After the season, she went to a doctor who upon examining her asked, "So when
did you break your foot?" She just assumed it was a little muscle pain. How
many martial artists could say the same.
Q:
Can a woman ever beat a man? Especially a big man?
Yes. Most of my Aikido heros were under 5'4"; tall, under 130 pounds, and
over 65 years old. Our friend Vicky is about 4'9" and threw a beefy prison
guard so far that he asked if it qualified him for frequent flyer
mileage.
Q:
What about teenagers?
If a teenager is mature enough to give an adult who's paying to be there the
same workout they could get from another adult, they can join adult classes.
One mother of a fourteen-year-old who did not pass the maturity test asked
us, "So what's wrong with fourteen-year-olds? Are they in exile or
something?" The answer for her kid was, "Yes!" The real answer is, as soon as
one of us has a kid who's fourteen, there'll be classes for
fourteen-year-olds. We're not the public school system; nobody said we have
to cover everybody. We do what interests us.
Q:
Are there tournaments?
No. Nor trophies or color rank belts. There is no winning or losing and we
try to keep the egos to a minimum (mine excepted). The main reason that O
Sensei didn't want competitions is that they, by definition, have
rules.
Q:
Is it, like, a really esoteric, philosophical martial art, with deep roots in
Eastern spirituality? Will I learn to meditate and things like
that?
Hell yeah.
Q:
How long does it take to get a black belt?
Six years, more or less. If you come every day and totally dedicate yoursef
to training, it'll take eight.
Q: I
really only want to be a Power Ranger. How much do I get to kick and punch
people?
Poof, you're a Power Ranger. That'll be $100.
Q:
Do you ever, you know, "meet" somebody, on the mat?
You'll meet the mate of your dreams and knock him or her down repeatedly.
Although it's hard to explain to the parents that your first date included an
hour of fighting with men in dresses.
Q:
Does Aikido have mood music?
"Kneeling, wo wo wo Kneeling..."
Q:
Dear Just Ask Jim: What's that blue thing doing there?
You are either referring to a cut from the"They Might Be Giants" album or to
my hakama. So hakama I wear a dress? One word: Tradition! (The chorus from
"Fiddler on the Roof" swells in the background.) I've heard a number of
explanations of why Aikidoka wear the hakama: they hide our footwork; they're
traditional samurai garb; they help us keep our centers, but they're mainly
just excuses. I suspect that we wear them because they look cool and give an
aura of exotic dignity.
Q:
Dear Jim: Why do we bow to the picture of the old geezer?
The little guy with the beard up on the wall? That's O Sensei, Bub, Morihei
Ueshiba. The big Kahuna. Capo de tutti Capa, and watch that "geezer" stuff.
He's been dead for 27 years and he's still better than you! He started all
this. We bow because... because... It's a Tradition! (Second chorus, with
dancers.) It's also a good way to separate class time from hanging out
time.
Q:
How's Kuma, the dojo dog?
Kuma is still a genius dog; she is typing this as I dictat... well, at least
she's sitting across my feet as I type this. She would be typing but she's
particularly tired after saving the house from an invading leaf. I'm working
on getting her to bow in with us at the beginning of
class.
Q:Is
Aikido a religion? O Sensei was a Shinto priest, wasn't he?
No, Aikido isn't a religion. O Sensei never asked his students to believe his
preachings, only his teachings. He considered it as an adjunct to whatever
your religion was, not as a replacement. He defined his numinous experience
through the paradigm of the Shinto symbolism which made up his
weltanschauung. And you thought I couldn't be deep, you
whelp.
Q:
Why do we do that hand wringing thing at the end of warm ups?
Hold on tight, bunkies; things are going to get rough. I'm going to quote
Tamura Shihan's answer:
"Furitama is
important because every class I followed with O Sensei he did it.
Consequently, his pupils, including myself and you, must do it to find our
its meaning for ourselves. What O Sensei said, for instance, was `You are
standing with one foot put on the rock of the sky, the other foot on the rock
of the earth'. This means you are standing in the center of the universe, You
receive the ki from the sky and the ki from the earth at the point of
unification (where the hands come together, left on top) and you move your
hands because it is the mixing point. And that is where the energy takes
life."
Tamura Shihan
then goes into a comparison with sex which I've left out. No,
really.
Q:
Dear Jim: Why do we have so many different federations in Aikido? We're USAF
under Yamada, but what are the ASU, the AAA, the IAA? What's the deal? What
gives?
Hey, there's only so much room in a newsletter, so you'll get the short
version.
The Aikikai Foundation in Tokyo, under Doshu, can recognize anyone it wishes.
In the US Doshu currently grants Hombu certificates to the USAF (under Yamada
Shihan), the Aikido Schools of Ueshiba (under Saotome Shihan), the Aikido
Association of America (under Toyoda Shihan) and the California Aikido
Association. Doshu does this as a personal favor to the Shihans in charge of
those organizations; he's a nice guy who doesn't like to say no. Each
organization then sets their own standards and
practices.
Q:
How's rolling feel with your back? Are we all gonna end up walking like
you?
It depends on the kind of drugs I'm on at the time and how recently I've
partaken of them. You won't end up hurt if you'd just listen to me, but how
many of you listen. You never call; you never write. When you come to the
house you don't even bring an assortment! Oy, my aching
back.
Q:
If Aikido is a spiritual discipline, could Jon and Martha have gotten married
here?
"...You may now throw the bride."
O-Sensei was very religious but he never asked his students to follow him
along the Shinto path. Aikido can, however, be used as an adjunct to most
religions in that it should foster health, calmness and centeredness. David
Christian says that it gives you little finite opportunties to practice
"faith" like when your intuition tells you not to believe that relaxing will
really knock Brian over but you try it anyway.